Almost everything an individual does is a search for validation. The question is about “where is one seeking the validation from”.
Human’s upbringing is largely designed to want validation and recognition. Looking for validation starts very young. Do you see me? Am I OK? Am I important? As a child one of the things children looked for from their parents, as an adult one is still looking for it from one’s spouse, supervisors, friends and now importantly from strangers on social media today.
Validation is found in authenticity and not conformity. Relying on external validation to understand one’s worth is no sustainable. If outside validation is one’s only source of nourishment one will hunger for the rest of life. One must validate from within to find true happiness and if this state is achieved the meaning of success changes and one is never craving to seek external validation. Learn to enjoy your own company so you don’t waste your time chasing validation from random people. The dependency on others validation must never exceed the regard and respect of one’s own value or significance in the world. Always trying to please people or control situations is being on the treadmill of strange acceptances which is nothing but wearing people out and waste of valuable life.
In the crowd that we maintain we fail to consider the validation from the one within. An intellectual agreement knows our validation should come from our relationship with God and the world is largely clueless about it. The validation from God comes from an understanding who am I in God and understanding who God is. Knowing yourself and knowing God are intricately connected together more over we usually get caught up trying to get validation for what we do rather than who we are. Human minds that stay locked can free themselves learning God’s love and acceptance is the key.
One must always remain a child with confidence and strength, in the knowledge and position of being the child of a loving almighty Father, who is crazy about us and we really are the apple of His eye. This kind of love brings freedom and renewed energy, a feeling to feel and experience and help understand who we are. He made us in His image and delights in us, He stubbornly loves us even when we are unlovable. We keep our doubts and fail to realise God is for us not against and His plans are for our good. We often take Him for granted but the least one can do is to realise and be grateful of the unique gifts, talents, and strengths one has received.
Validation from others may seem a natural part of being human, as most can’t move in silence because of the want of applause of an audience. Not realizing the audience more often is waiting to see you fail. Worse and often it is, one is taking validation from those who don’t even understand themselves.
Internal validation is the ability to honor and acknowledge one’s own positive attributes, strengths, achievements, and emotions. When one’s convictions are in place, less is the probability to seek validation. To find this peace within one has to disengage seeking the others appreciation and attention.
Others do not define you, one’s own actions validate who you are.
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